Thursday, May 10, 2007

In my head you're all brand new, I guess you're really all the same.

People watching. It's something I do without even noticing. It's a very interesting thing to do. I find myself getting to know who these people really are without speaking one word to them. Just by their movements, the way they look, they way the speak, the way move about. It may seem creepy to some, but its really not. Its not like you're following every minute of someone's life, just a couple of seconds. It's always a great way to relax. Release yourself from your own life problems. You see this man walking briskly down the street, and you can make up a whole life story for the guy. I now just wonder what people think about me..


I've been having these rapid mood swings. I don't even get them when I'm expecting my period, so its weird. With any little thing someone says to me, I get all butt hurt. I won't say anything, but I will dwell on all day when I'm by myself. I wake up the next morning and think so differently. I would feel stupid for feeling that way I did the day before. All I ask from some of you, is to be nice to me a few days. You never know when I will let everything out of these days, and I know it won't be pretty!

I saw "the" boy today. I was walking with a friend and he just jumps in front of me and "scares" me. It was too cute. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I should go for it. You know? I mean, what do I got to loose? We only live once!

I've also been thinking alot about my image lately. I'm 5'7" and wheigh 147 pounds. I feel like a monster. I've been on a diet before, and lost tons of weight. But now, more than ever, I feel huge. I'm never satisfied with myself. I've begun to plan out a diet. I want to at least loose 10 more pounds by July. I want to be in the 130s. Let's see how that goes with me.

Now about the cake. The Lemon Cream Cake that I was doing. Everyone loved it. Everyone loved except me. You are worst critic, you know. I don't know. I'm a perfectionist when comes to creating something. There was something about the cake that bothered me. No one else seemed to complain, so I guess that was good. Sorry, no pictures! But here is the recipe:

Ingredients:
1 3/4 cup cake flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup vegetable oil
6 egg yolks
3/4 cup water
1 tablespoon lemon zest
6 egg whites
1/2 teaspoon cream of tartar
3/4 cup white sugar
1 cup heavy whipping cream
2 1/2 cups lemon pie filling
8 slices lemon


Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). In a large bowl, combine flour, baking powder, salt, and 1/2 cup sugar. Add oil,egg yolks, water and lemon rind. Beat with an electric mixer until smooth.

In a small bowl, beat egg whites and cream of tartar until peaks form. Gradually add 3/4 cup sugar, and beat until very stiff and shiny peaks form. Fold 1/3 of the whites into the batter, then quickly fold in remaining whites until no streaks remain. Turn batter into ungreased 10 inch tube pan.

Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 60 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Invert cake and cool completely in pan. When cool, loosen edges and shake pan to remove cake. To Make Filling: Beat cream to stiff peaks. Fold in lemon filling. Chill until stiff. To Assemble Cake: Slice cake horizontally into 3 equal layers. Fill layers with 1/3 cup of filling. Spread remaining filling on top layer. Decorate with lemon slices.

I didn't have cake flour. Maybe that was it! Yeah, that was it.

34 comments:

My name is Eunice, said...

Hey Jovanna, don't worry about these things right now. I know people can be mean and rude but just don't let them get in your way. Even I have some kind of love towards my enemy. Deep down there I think about her and care for her. I am happy she got a scholarship and is moving to a good college. And, lets see, jennifer, I like her, she is pretty. Even though I HATE her comments and all of them. Nobody can hate an individual so, cheer up because we might not be nice to each other but we ALWAYS think about each other. And, about the diet, you are not a monster. Just be what you are. If you were an anorexic blond bitch I would not talk to you. I like the way you are and the way you think. You are perfect in my eyes, a perfect model of "JOVANNA". About the GUY, I mean....dont go for it if he hasnt shown a 100% dedication to you. Because the guy's uncertainty is what makes them all the same. A guy that LOVES you would not ponder at the thought of reaching out to you and saying how beautiful you are. And...about the cake, it might have been weird, but peoples reaction is what counts...live to make others happy, put others before you, deep, very deep...you are just as deep as I am...lets be twins! : )

My name is Eunice, said...

When you have time..whenever, come over... And, when you get the code to the music there is a square that you have to check off... its like (automatic play)...so it turns on automatically.

: )

Peabody said...

147 at 5'7" is far from a monster, in fact you are in your BMI. You might want to look into Intuative Eating and movements like that, that help with learning to accept your body.
Cake sounds great.

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